iykyk. but if you don’t there is at least a chance to learn, like me — in dreams. hermes knocked on my door the night after living july 30 and on august first i met chiron the black cat.
there is a place in house for chiron now and another ethical dilemna. i literally don’t believe inside animals make sense, especially not selfish shit like emotional support pettery but the way this cat leapt across the steps let me know it moved in.
personal space and boundaries require people that don’t respect me to make room for the cat they think i domesticate. something about slave paperwork and visiting the vet make me feel like the next thing to rack is a leash. for a cat. in a city. to fit in. and that is utter bullshit.
xxi the universe
1 baby the magus
xx the aeon
viii adjustment
1 mids the magus
xiii (reverse) death
ii the priestess
xvii the star
1 primmy the magus
xviii the moon
xix the sun
iii the empress
iv the emperor
v the hierophant
vi the lovers
vii the chariot
o the fool
xv the devil
xvi the tower
xi lust
xii (reverse) the hanged man
ix the hermit
xiv art
x fortune
surveillance of queers on college campuses is how informants were sent into every crew i know of. rich kids get caught in bed with the wrong person and the threats are unveiled; reportback or approach death.
crowley was an informant, that is why Hermes hainted the mf visibly until entering the gates. but, the messages of thoth tarot deck should be learned. wonder if the same crew as oscar wilde’s got crowley caught up, or how much bullshit the dawn were on to be enamored with a twink with a budget from some uk feds.
0. the fool
KNOW NAUGHT!
ALL WAYS ARE LAWFUL TO INNOCENCE.
PURE FOLLY IS THE KEY TO INITIATION.
SILENCE BREAKS INTO RAPTURE.
BE NEITHER MAN NOR WOMAN, BUT BOTH IN ONE.
BE SILENT, BABE IN THE EGG OF BLUE, THAT THOU
MAYEST GROW TO BEAR THE LANCE AND GRAAL!
WANDER ALONE, AND SING! IN THE KING’S PALACE
HIS DAUGHTER AWAITS THEE.
I. the magus
The True Self is the meaning of the True Will:
know Thyself through Thy Way.
Calculate well the Formula of Thy Way.
Create freely; absorb joyously; divide intently;
consolidate completely.
Work thou, Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent,
in and for Eternity.
II. the priestess
Purity is to live only to the Highest; and the
Highest is All; be thou as Artemis to Pan.
Read thou in the Book of the Law, and break
through the veil of the Virgin.
III. the empress
This is the Harmony of the Universe, that Love
unites the Will to create with the Understanding
of that Creation : understand thou thine own
Will.
Love and let love. Rejoice in every shape of love,
and get thy rapture and thy nourishment thereof
IV. the emperor
Use all thine energy to rule thy thought : burn
up thy thought as the Phoenix.
V. the hierophant
Offer thyself Virgin to the Knowledge and Conversation of thine Holy Guardian Angel.
All
else is a snare.
Be thou athlete with the eight limbs of Yoga : for
without these thou are not disciplined for any
fight.
VI. the lovers
The Oracle of the Gods is the Child — Voice of Love
in Thine own Soul: hear thou it.
Heed not the Siren — voice of Sense or the Phantom-
Voice of Reason : rest in Simplicity, and listen to
the Silence.
VII. the chariot
The issue of the Vulture, Two-in-One, conveyed;
this is the Chariot of Power.
TRINC : the last oracle.
VIII. adjustment
Balance against each thought its exact opposite.
For the Marriage of these is the Annihilation of
Illusion.
IX. the hermit
Wander alone; bearing the Light and thy Staff.
And be the Light so bright that no man seeth thee.
Be not moved by aught without or within :
keep Silence in all ways.
X. fortune
Follow thy Fortune, careless where it lead thee.
The axle moveth not : attain thou that.
XI. lust
Mitigate Energy with Love; but let Love devour
all things.
Worship the name _ _ _ _, foursquare, mystic,
wonderful, and the name of His House 418.
XII. the hanged man
Let not the waters whereon thou journeyest wet thee. And, being come to shore,
plant thou the Vine and rejoice without shame.
XIII. death
The Universe is Change; every Change is the
effect of an Act of Love; all Acts of Love
contain Pure Joy. Die daily. Death is the apex of one curve of the snake Life :
behold all Opposites as necessary complements,
and rejoice.
XIV. art
Pour thine all freely from the Vase in thy right hand,
and lose no drop. Hath not thy left hand
a vase?
Transmute all wholly into the Image of thy Will,
bringing each to its true token of Perfection.
Dissolve the Pearl in the Wine-cup; drink, and
make manifest the Virtue of that Pearl.
XV. the devil
With thy right Eye create all for thyself, and with the left
accept all that be created otherwise.
XVI. the tower
Break down the fortress of thine individual
Self, that thy Truth may spring free from the ruins.
XVII. the star
Pour water on thyself thus shalt thou be
a Fountain to the Universe.
Find thou thyself in every Star.
Achieve thou every possibility.
XVIII. the moon
Let the Illusion of the World pass over thee, unheeded,
as thou goest from the Midnight to
the Morning.
XIX. the aeon
Give forth thy light to all without doubt;
the clouds and shadows are no matter for thee.
Make Speech and Silence, Energy and Stillness,
twin forms of thy play.
XX. the sun
Be every Act an Act of Love and Worship.
Be every Act the Fiat of a God.
Be every Act a Source of radiant Glory.
XXI. the universe
Treat time and all conditions of Event as Servants
of thy Will, appointed to present the Universe to
thee in the form of thy Plan.
And : blessing and worship to the prophet of the
lovely Star.
cat came in early am. i smell like shit, tongue is coated and cant be rinsed, scraped or pushed away. trashrobot walks, talks about intake.
friend came thru all union style, with boxes of groceries and to take soup out. there is abundance in everything except my desire to continue feeling pain.
water is vom, this is dangerous if lasting. i keep eating after being up like 17 hours but could just not if there was more attention to spare for others.
ACTIVE HOURS: 6 am to 1 am
INTAKES: water /dryheaves
raspberry lemon kombucha
garlic and lime tea
forgot kratom til like 8 pm, bad moves
3 oz veggie broth at dark
roasted this before midnight and smashed — 1/3 brick tofu, mushrooms, asparagus, 1 avocado
i can feel the drops happening and this is triggering all my ED moves. if i eat every night to accomodate for not resting as a hunger striker should, it is supposed to count. i am disabled and parenting with my best friend and we are both ill enough to know we need help. but it seems there’s a curve turnt on fighting and that more friends feel the time to act has past.
idk that i wanna forgive, am not set up to forget, but am willing to destroy capitalism with anyone that can manage to set their mind to it.
hex & ritual & hygiene & food & sharing & planning & acting & starting again.
